Food Network=porn for fatties

Oh baby. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees, this is going to be a wild ride.

Food network is the default setting on our TV.  Despite what you are thinking, this is NOT my choice.  I moved in with an awesome chica a year ago, and she just so happens to be a most fantastic cook, and blogger for that matter.  I never watched before I moved in, but now I’m hooked.  Rachel Ray and her “healthful” 30 minute meals are incredibly entertaining, Giada’s obsession with flaky crusts make my stomach grumble and tuning in to see what color button down shirt Ina Garten is wearing is very amusing.

Let’s face it, I am not really watching for anything but the food.  The well-lit and stylized plates of steaming pasta, golden crusts on pot pie and the slow explosion of molten cocoa coming out of moist chocolate cake make me drool and I do mean drool.  It’s as if I am a 12-year-old boy who has discovered his dad’s porn collection.  I know it’s wrong but I just.can’t.look.away.

Even now, as I see a shiny silver spoon pierce the flesh of a perfect chocolate lava cake and watch as the creamy chocolate lava spills out in an explosion, I can’t change the channel.  Mostly because this time, it’s not on tv, it’s right in front of me.  I should change the tag from awesome roomies to EVIL roomies!

Talk about a change of plans

Days like today are not good for a healthy lifestyle.  It’s all about planning ahead.  Today was supposed to be my day off. So I was going to catch up on the DVR, clean up my room, do some grocery shopping, buy new shoes, go to the gym and most importantly, cook a healthy meal for the roomies and me.  I could have done all of it too, if I hadn’t had to go into work today.  Instead of crossing off items on my to-do list, I ran one quick errand and spent the ENTIRE day at work.  No really, the whole day.  Just got home.

So, how did I do with healthy eating?

• Breakfast: banana.
• Lunch: Subway 6″ turkey sub with no cheese and apple slices instead of chips. (didn’t have time to pack anything)
• Snack: Yogurt. (At this point it’s actually dinner time.  I convinced myself that it was not and that I was not actually starving.)
• Dinner: Lean Cuisine- chicken parmigiana i.e. warm rubber with marinara sauce

I shake my fist at not being able to plan ahead.  This is the first day that I was actually starving because I didn’t want to just eat a bag of chips or what have you because, damn it! I’m going to find my inner skinny bitch again!!

Yummy delicious chili

It’s recipe time!  Last night I hijacked the roomies Le Crusea (sp?) dutch oven to make my dinner. Want this dish, need this dish, love this dish!

A few years ago, a Weight Watchers leader gave us a recipe for a lighter version of chili.  It’s very simple to make, absolutely delicious and can be modified in several ways, but still remain figure friendly. Bon appetite!

Ingredients

• 1 package ground turkey or chicken
• 1 can dark kidney beans, undrained
• 1 can light kidney beans, undrained
• 1 can diced chili style tomatoes, undrained
• 1 onion, diced
• 1 clove fresh garlic,
• package of frozen veggies or seasonal fresh veggies (bell peppers, zucchini, squash)
• chili powder to taste
• olive oil

1. Heat oil in a large pan of your choice, add meat.  Cook through.  Add diced onions and garlic.  Saute until fragrant over medium heat.

2. Reduce heat to low.  Add canned beans and tomatoes. Add vegetables.

3. Add chili powder and salt and pepper to taste.

4. Simmer 10-15 minutes or until vegetables are soft.

Optional- add fat free sour cream or cheese for a fun topper!

Serve and enjoy!

I’m bringing sexy back

Let’s talk for a moment about love handles.

You know, those undesirable mounds of fat on your back?  Also referred to as a muffin top, bulging waistline, flab, hate handles, middle age spread, spare tire or my personal preference, back boobs.  Not everyone is afflicted with these unfortunate appendages, but thanks to the genetics from my father’s side of the family, I have been blessed with enormous back boobs.  Thanks Dad.  Even at my lightest weight, my back still looked like the top of a soft serve ice cream cone.  How does one get rid of this flubber, aside from hiding them with spanx or getting liposuction?  Honestly, I would be willing to offer my back boobs as a donation to a poor unfortunate flat chested woman. We could make history as the first ever fat transplant! See how selfless I am?

Anyway, the reason for this rambling about back fat comes from last nights outing.  A good friend was celebrating a birthday and invited me to dinner at a restaurant I had never been to.  She explained that the food was fantastic and they had great cake. CAKE! Why do I keep encountering cake?!

Pushing thoughts of cake out of my mind, I rushed home from work and ran upstairs to get all gussied up for the evening ahead.  Then I remembered that I have NOTHING to wear because lets face it, 4 pounds is not enough weight loss for a significant change in the way clothes fit.  So out comes trusty body cinching, super uncomfortable, corset thingy.  Suck it back fat!  You will be tamed!

The end result was not perfect but it squeezed my stomach enough to keep me from devouring any of that delicious looking cake! Say nothing about the 4 beers later at the bar…

Fajita night

Tonight the roomies and I collaborated on a Messican feast. I have an abundance of Omaha steaks, thanks to my wonderful Godmother who doesn’t know that I am more of a chicken eater than a beef eater, and since my roomies are such amazing cooks we had fajitas for dinner. This one is easy, lots of fresh veggies, skip the tortilla, fat-free sour cream. Delicioso!  It’s amazing just how easily I’m getting back into the swing of my formerly healthy self.  I did of course have a messican beer but I made sure to purchase Corona Light instead of the full hoppy version.

I am splendidly satisfied with my dinner choice this evening. Go me!

Ole