Food Network=porn for fatties

Oh baby. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees, this is going to be a wild ride.

Food network is the default setting on our TV.  Despite what you are thinking, this is NOT my choice.  I moved in with an awesome chica a year ago, and she just so happens to be a most fantastic cook, and blogger for that matter.  I never watched before I moved in, but now I’m hooked.  Rachel Ray and her “healthful” 30 minute meals are incredibly entertaining, Giada’s obsession with flaky crusts make my stomach grumble and tuning in to see what color button down shirt Ina Garten is wearing is very amusing.

Let’s face it, I am not really watching for anything but the food.  The well-lit and stylized plates of steaming pasta, golden crusts on pot pie and the slow explosion of molten cocoa coming out of moist chocolate cake make me drool and I do mean drool.  It’s as if I am a 12-year-old boy who has discovered his dad’s porn collection.  I know it’s wrong but I just.can’t.look.away.

Even now, as I see a shiny silver spoon pierce the flesh of a perfect chocolate lava cake and watch as the creamy chocolate lava spills out in an explosion, I can’t change the channel.  Mostly because this time, it’s not on tv, it’s right in front of me.  I should change the tag from awesome roomies to EVIL roomies!

Red…red….wine…

Blame it on the vodka

Blame it on the henny

Blame it on the blue top

Got you feeling dizzy

Blame it on the a a a a a a a alcohol.

In my previous bouts with weight loss, it was told to me that I should also limit my alcohol intake since it -duh- has calories too.  So I did.  If I went out for Mexican with my friends, I used my points for a margarita instead of dessert.  When I went out for $1 mug nights, I made sure to dance the ENTIRE night to work off the beer calories.  If I drank so much with my brother and cousin that I threw up my healthy dinner, that meant my calories cancelled themselves out. (Hey, I was in college. Leave me alone)  This time, I started by cutting out my weekly Yuengling at trivia night, and turned down more than a glass of red wine…at first.

Then I realized that sometimes I really just need a way to unwind after a long day at work.  I genuinely enjoy the taste of red wine and snobby beers.  So I have eaten less to fit in my alcohol because, dangit!  I deserve it!  However, when you drink, your inhibitions are lowered, you become dehydrated and you are more likely to eat things that you shouldn’t. (Amongst other things.)

I must be more careful with my consumption of pinot.  Instead of say, the whole freaking bottle, have 1 glass.  They make those wine stoppers for a reason you know!