It’s ok, you’re on vacation

Note to self: You are never on vacation from a diet! BTW-I hate the word diet, it’s too temporary.  I don’t want this shit creeping back up on me in a couple of years like, “hey Lainy! remember me?  You’re old pals thunder thighs?  We’re baaaaccccckk. Why? Because you dieted you damn fool.  You should have just accepted that it’s a food addiction and you need to work on a lifestyle change.  Now you’re going to rub a whole on the inside of your jeans for all eternity.  And you better behave, otherwise we’re inviting your old pals Pamela and Anderson onto your back again.”

I had an absolutely fantastic vacation that was filled with many glasses of beer, many meals at restaurants and WAY too many thoughts in my head of, “it’s ok, you’re on vacation.”  Which then turned into, “it’s ok, you already ate like a pig last week, may as well keep going.  One chicken biscuit won’t hurt.  Just do an extra few laps around the building at work.  You’ll be fine.”  Unacceptable!  I never really thought that I had a routine that I follow, especially considering the constant change to my work schedule, but I guess I am that type of person.  It is much easier for me to make sure I get all of my water intake when I’m not guzzling Guinness with friends, or eating every meal at a restaurant.  I guess I should have brought the food police with me.  Maybe then I wouldn’t have finished every plate of food that I ordered.  On second thought, I’m glad I didn’t bring them.  That beer was delicious.

End result: up 1 pound as of last week and not looking forward to getting on the scale tomorrow morning.

Somebody call 9-1-1

Step away from the cupcake ma’am.

I knew there was a reason I shouldn’t make my weight loss efforts public knowledge. You would think I would know better, since this isn’t the first time I’ve embarked on this journey. I tell people because it makes it easier to turn down the delicious goodies they have slaved away to make. There is more understanding if I say that I’m on a diet rather than “No thank you, I don’t like coconut.” I also tell people because I’m a bit of an attention whore and love to hear, “Wow! You look great!” or “Oh my how much weight have you lost?”, it motivates me. Let me tell you what does NOT motivate me:

The effing food police.

The pesky people who ask me what exactly I’m eating and “is that on your diet?” “are you sure you can eat that?” “oh what are you eating today?” and on and on and on.

It drives me insane!!!  I understand that they don’t mean to be unbelievably obnoxious and they’re only trying to help but leave me the freak alone already!  I know what I’m eating.  I know that the yogurt that I brought has sugar in it.  THAT’S WHY I’M EATING IT!  It’s the closest thing to dessert I’ve had in 20 days.

So I say to you food police, BACK OFF. The only comments I need from you are, “You look great.” and “Keep up the good work.”